Do We Use Our Phones Too Much? My Thoughts

Does your phone add value to your life, or stress?

Over the past few years, I’ve reflected a great deal on how I use my phone. I’ve tried digital detoxes, decluttered my digital life and become more mindful of my phone habits. But I still have a long way to go to improve my relationship with my device. Here are my thoughts on modern day phone use…

I believe we spend too much time on our phones. I believe this behaviour has a negative impact on us. I believe it has a negative impact on our relationship with our families, our friends and how we spend our lives. 

We don’t have an unlimited amount of time in this world. It’s a fact. So, why are we spending so much of our precious time on our phone? When we’re ready to say goodbye to this world, will we realistically look back and say ‘wow, I really should have spent more time on my phone?’ If our phones make us feel good, then I’d say yes, go ahead, spend as much time as you want there. But this is something I’ve been wondering about for a long time…have you ever put down your phone feeling a sense of discontent? Dissatisfaction? Disconnection? Aren’t phones meant to make us feel more informed? More satisfied? More connected? 

So why, at times, do we put our phones down feeling a little bit worse? A bit angry at the world? A little bit anxious? A little bit insecure? 

I experienced this many times. But at that point, I didn’t have the inclination or knowledge to ask myself why. Why, at times, did using my phone make me feel worse? 

I was shocked to discover how much time I was actually spending on my phone each day. I wondered: Why have I lost control over how I spend my precious time? Why can’t I use my phones with intention? Why aren’t the helpful tools they were created to be? 

Somewhere along the line, the phone has taken over right? That’s what we tell ourselves? It’s normal human behaviour to get the blame off our backs, point our finger at someone else, at something else, so we don’t have to take responsibility. It’s the phones fault! It’s the reason why feel tempted to open our phone when we’re pushing our kids on the swing at the park? It’s the reason why we ask someone to repeat what they said because we weren’t giving them our full attention? It’s the reason we’re never fully present at the restaurant with friends. It’s the reason why we are distracted and unable to focus 100% at work. It’s the reason we bump into people on the pavement because we’re looking down and can’t see what where we’re going? 

The truth is. The phone is innocent. We can’t blame the phone. We only have ourselves to blame. But our behaviour is the reason. Our behaviour is the problem. Somewhere along the line, we’ve got a bit lost. The phone isn’t the reason. We’re responsible for getting lost.

I believe we can take back control. I believe that we can still use our phones, like the tools they were intended to be, but not give in to the constant need to check our phones. I believe we will feel much better as a society if we reclaim control. It’s better for our wellbeing, productivity and physical health. I’m on a mission to help as many people reclaim control as I possibly can. Phones aren’t the enemy, I truly believe this. I don’t think we should all throw our phones into the river Thames. I actually love my phone. And now, I actually love how I use my phone. I recognise all of the good things my phone has brought to my life, the things it’s enabled me to do. My phone and all the tools it provides allowed me to lunch my business, support my family, become more informed, more productive, feel excited to use it. It continues to do all these things? What’s changed? Not throwing away my phone, not being strict on hours use per day. If I want to use my phone, I’ll use it. If I want to mindlessly scroll at times, I will. What’s changed? My behaviour. My awareness. My intention. I pick up my phone because I consciously want to, not out of habit, or boredom, or a need to be distracted from life because the present moment is uncomfortable.

Do you feel like you need to reclaim control? This post was written for anyone who wants to explore how to improve their wellbeing and productivity. How to improve their happiness in life. How to feel content. How to feel at ease with their decisions. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

If you’re serious about reseting your relationship with your phone, and developing better phone use habits, then my Digital Decluttering Course may be just the place to start. You can find out more here.