Tidying Sentimental Items

Are you ready to start tidying your sentimental category? The final category in the KonMari Method, and often the toughest to tackle, is sentimental items. If you’ve completed all four tidying categories prior to this in full, your joy check is more refined, and therefore you’re better prepared to decide what to do with the items closest to your heart. Sentimental items include but are not limited to:

• photographs and albums;

• journals and diaries;

• memorabilia and souvenirs;

• scrapbooks;

• personal letters;

• heirlooms;

• and trophies.

What is the reason why you’ve been saving these items until the very end? They’re the most difficult to make a decision about. A memento is a reminder of a time when an item gave us joy. As hard as it may seem, I fully believe that when you reach the sentimental category, this can be one of the most joyful experiences of the tidying process. By this stage, you’ve completed all of your joy checks on clothing, books, paperwork and komono - which means that the rest of the home is in order. Take a moment to reflect on the beautiful environment you’ve already established, enabling you to embark upon your sentimental joy checks!

Now is the time to stay strong with your vision for your ideal lifestyle and ideal living environment ~ you’ve gone through thousands of choices meeting all of the items from previous KonMari categories and now you’re equipped with the best decision-making toolkit to choose what sentimental items truly spark joy for you and therefore, those you wish to keep.

 Before you start sorting through your sentimental items, here’s a few things to remember:

1. Don’t send sentimental items to your parents’ home if it gets too tough to decide!

2. Ask yourself: ‘Will this bring the future me happiness?’

3. If you don’t want to say goodbye to something, keep it with confidence.

4. Try to give each sentimental item a home where you can see it everyday (it’s not going to fulfill its purpose gathering dust in a loft or being hidden away in a cupboard). I believe sentimental items offer the greatest source of joy, and should be elevated in their homes, wherever possible.

Best strategy: divide then conquer! If you start to make choices on a massive pile of sentimental photographs, mixed with letters, postcards, trinkets, travel memorabilia etc. this will send your head into a spin! Tackle one subcategory at a time, starting with the easiest (often with the least amount of items). That way, you can focus your decision-making on one trail of thought, and establish a keeping criteria for each subcategory. The decisions you make in the greeting cards category (as well as the inner dialogue you engage in) will be very different from that of photographs. As a general rule, split your sentimental items into categories like:

• School

• Greeting cards

• Love story

• Childrens’ artwork, schoolwork, certificates & achievements

• Letters 

• Souvenirs

• Photographs & Videos (physical first, before moving on to digital versions)

A word of advice before you commence your joy checking in this category: take the pressure off yourself to get rid of things, especially in the sentimental category. You should know by now that this is not what the KonMari Method is about; the focus is on choosing what you want to keep.

Now you have separated items into their sentimental subcategories, keep whatever sparks joy for you personally and remember, your feeling of joy will be personal to you. If you want to keep ALL your letters, photographs, family heirlooms, souvenirs and keepsakes, that’s fine. As long as:

1.  They are a source of joy.

2.  You create a good, easy-to-manage system to store them.

3.  You have enough space in your home to store them.

If they still feel like a heavy category following joy checks, you may have some more decisions to make.

As long as you follow the mantra of keeping what you love, instead of forcing yourself to get rid of things so you can reach the ‘perfect’ amount, your home will naturally accommodate the content. Don’t aim for perfection, aim for:

•  a sense of control

•  a sense of order

•  a sense of joy

Are you ready to tidy up your sentimental items once and for all? Let me know in the comments. And, as always, if you have any specific questions, I’m happy to receive them.

Client LT’s items from her childhood

Client BB’s sentimental storage space - keeping only those items which spark joy

Your sentimental questions answered:

• What do I do with things belonging to my loved ones whom have now passed away?

  I’m so sorry for your loss. Gather these items into one place where you feel comfortable. Make sure you’ve had a good night’s sleep before you make any decisions and you’re in the right headspace to look through these items. You may want to have a box is tissues handy too.

  Hold each item in your hands and allow time for some honest reflection. Firstly, does the item bring you comfort, happiness and reassurance? If not, be brave and pass it on. I’m sure the person you inherited it from would prefer you be free of the item, rather than keep it out of a sense of guilt, sadness or obligation.

• What about items my parents have given me? They're tricky to let go of...

  When it comes to gifts, I agree it can be challenging to let go of these items even if they don’t bring you joy or serve you practically. That said, one should feel no sense of guilt or obligation to hold on to an item that has no purpose in their life. I’m sure the giftor would not want these items to be a burden to you, therefore you have full authority to decide to pass on this item with gratitude. Your home, your choice.

• I have a life limiting illness, how should I declutter sentimental items for those I will leave behind?

  I’m sorry to hear about your illness. I would highly recommend reading a Beautiful book called The Swedish Art of Death Cleaning by Magaret Magnusson. I was put off reading it for a long time because of the title, but now I’m so glad I did. It offers wonderful wisdom on how to prepare oneself for the next stage, and how not burden our loved ones with too many things when we pass. Please refer to my blog post about the book - I hope it serves you well.

• How can I prevent feeling like I'm throwing away the past? I'm 65 and want to keep everything that's sentimental to me.

  I love this question. And I pose this question back to you: How can you throw away your past? You past is already internalised within you. You past IS you.

  I believe we place too much emphasis on physical items to hold our memories, and due to this, we lose faith in ourselves to hold on to our memories.

  It’s so easy to apply the blanket procrastination strategy in saying ‘I want to keep everything’ but by saying this we’re giving ourselves a ‘get out of tidying card’. Tidying needs to be embraced as a self care exercise, not something that tortures our soul! When it comes to sentimental items in particular, be curious (not furious!) with the content there. Take the pressure off yourself and mindfully start to explore the items, one sentimental subcategory at a time. You may be surprised at how enjoyable the process actually is!

• Have you ever regretted decluttering something from your sentimental category Katrina?

  Never. Have confidence and faith in yourself that you will make the right decision to suit your life, your home and how you wish to spend your time.

• If the item is sentimental how do you know what to keep and what to get rid of? Everything just feels so precious.

  The sentimental category is the final stage of your KonMari tidying journey. Before then, you would have asked yourself ‘Does this spark joy?’ thousands if times for items in the preceding categories of clothing, books, paperwork and komono. When you reach the sentimental category, the question is no different. KonMari is the focus of keeping what we love, rather than focusing on getting rid of a target number of items. If the sentimental item sparks joy for you, then keep it with confidence.

  Whenever you’re starting joy checks on any category of items, it’s always best to select the items that bring you the most joy first. Spread out those joyful items that have passed through the joy check, and display them clearly so you can refer back to them as you’re going through the rest. Choosing the most precious items first provides the opportunity for comparison. If another item matches that standard, keep it with confidence.

  Through starting with and choosing to keep the sentimental items you treasure in the highest regard, you will develop a decision-making criteria that will naturally decipher the sentimental items that don’t match that standard.

  Once you’ve made your decisions, make sure you check in with how you’re feeling about that amount. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amount you’ve decided to keep after your initial run through, or if you are limited on storage to store everything respectfully, the category may need some further consideration. Is every item truly precious? Why? What’s the main reason you’re holding on to it? Remember: tidying is a journey in self discovery, even in the sentimental category.

• How do I tackle childrens' school creations?

  If you’re like many of the clients that I work with on their tidying journey, artwork is one of those subcategories that opens up a highly emotional can of worms. In my experience, here are a few things I hear often when it comes to letting go of childrens’ artwork:

  • ‘If I don’t keep it, they take it very personally.’

  • ‘I might regret getting rid of it.’

  • ‘My child worked so hard on it.’

  • ‘They made this for me. I could never let it go.’

  If you hear yourself saying one of these things during the sort, you have an emotional attachment to their artwork. And that’s okay. Remember, KonMari isn’t about getting rid of things. It’s about keeping the things you love and surrounding yourself with joy. The goal is to identify the things that spark the most joy for you to set the standard for everything else. This doesn’t work though, when you’re emotionally attached to every single piece of artwork. Be honest with yourself and ask: is every piece of artwork significant enough to keep?

  The truth is, the more you keep, the less significant individual items become. They will be drowned out by everything else. Because there are so many of them, the likelihood that a piece will be displayed, framed, digitalised into a keepsake book is reduced, as is the item’s significance. By keeping a number of pieces, chosen with intention, you actually elevate their status and provide yourself with the freedom to turn them into something beautiful. After all, keeping less = less time organising. One good question to ask yourself when you look at every piece of artwork is: Am I willing to invest the time it takes to display this / store it in a meaningful way? This can help you to distinguish what’s worth keeping by considering it’s eventual resting place. The more you keep, the more resting places you need to create or find.

  If you need more help with this area, read the full blog post ‘Overwhelmed By Children's Artwork? Here's My Advice On How To Regain Control’.

• I have piles of schoolwork from when I was a kid/teen... Help!

  Letting go of school work and course materials can be a real challenge, especially if you’re someone who has worked extremely hard through the years. As a recovering perfectionist, I know exactly how you feel!

  First, let’s be honest. Have you even looked at any of the content in years? How long has it been exactly? If you remember something significant (an essay you poured your heart and soul into, or a workshop you attending that will solve all of your life issues!) then that’s something worth saving perhaps. But please don’t fall into the trap of thinking: ‘I should keep this’ when you’re REMINDED of its existence. If you didn’t remember it before, then what can it possibly add t to your life right now? Remembering is different from being reminded. Remember means you’re searching for something in the pile and you’re excited to see it again. Being reminded of something when you come across and then keeping it without considering why, can open the disastrous door of simply keeping everything as you take a visit down memory lane.

  Keep something with confidence if it’s a source of genuine joy, or will serve you practically in the future. Will the previous work you did support you in the future? Will keeping it help you to achieve your ideal lifestyle and ideal living environment? If not, let it go with gratitude, and know that it was simply a means to an end.

• Do you stay with clients as they work through their sentimental category? Or do they complete this on their own? How long does it normally take?

  In most cases, I stay with my clients until they finish this category as they require guidance and emotional support throughout.

  Some of my clients want some initial support from me and once they get into the tidying flow, and know the strategies and questions to navigate through the content, then feel empowered enough to continue working through sentimental items on their own.

  A previous client needed only one session to complete her entire sentimental category whereas another has had over 20 sessions on this category alone. It really depends on the client’s level of confidence.

• Any ideas for sentimental jewellery one no longer wears?

  If the item sparks joy for you, then display them and store them with your other jewellery items. Sometimes, these items spark joy because they remind us of the person, even though we wouldn’t necessarily choose to buy the item ourselves.

  Ask yourself: will this item spark joy as part of my display? If not, consider selling the item and doing something with the money that would make your loved one happy/proud. Alternatively, you can donate the item to charity where it can benefit someone else whilst supporting a good cause.

  These items don’t want to be left gathering dust in a box, forgotten and abandoned somewhere in a dusty loft. Elevate their status or send them on their way.

• Is there a point in keeping old gifted birthday cards? How do I store them?

  In my opinion, keep the cards that are significant to you due to the person, place or memory it evokes. I only keep the birthday cards from my husband and children. The rest I display around my home for a period of time, before recycling them.

  I store the cards in two places: in a memory box and in a series of scrapbooks.

• I'm quite ruthless with my own birthday cards but I don't know whether to keep my childrens'?

  Let’s do the maths:

  If you kept every birthday card from when your child was born in a box and presented it to them on their 21st birthday…

  30 cards per year x 21 = 630 cards for THEM to joy check later on.

  Is this task and potential clutter point going to spark joy for your child at this stage of their life?

  I don’t think it’s ruthless to carefully curate the card content for your children over the years, keeping the cards from the most significant people whom have shaped their lives.

• How do I help my child to tidy up their sentimental items?

  Practice makes progress when it comes to tidying with children. If they see you decluttering your sentimental items, after decluttering the previous KonMari categories with confidence, you serve as their role model and normalise tidying behaviour. Over time, and with a great deal of exposure and experience, children can and will naturally let go of things (especially if you set and share a limit on their storage in the home).

  We often have to get out of the way of our children too. If they wish to discard something, try to not let your own feelings about the item get in the way of them closing down this decision. I can’t tell you how many times I heard ‘oh no darling, you can’t possibly get rid of that, dear Aunty Betty sent you that!’. Hello guilt trip and unnecessary pressure. Hello belittling my confidence in making a decision.

  It’s their choice, not ours. In my experience, children from the age of 4/5 can make rational, confident decisions if given the opportunity.

• Which sentimental items are the hardest to let go of?

  From my own KonMari tidying festival, and through my work with clients, it’s always photographs and videos. But remember, there’s no pressure to discard. keep what you love, despite the volume - that’s the true focus of KonMari. KonMari isn’t minimalism.

  Be honest with yourself though. when you’re completely honest with what truly sparks joy, and have the ability to set the standard of ‘preciousness’ for sentimental items, you will naturally and confidently discard things as a by product of choosing what you wish to keep.

• What is the best storage for sentimental items?

  Airtight plastic boxes are my go-to storage for items you wish to preserve over time. Simple yet effective. I also love the boxes at stationery specialist Harris & Jones.

  However, KonMari is all about not hiding these precious items away. if you can, display them proudly in your home - elevate their status - so they can bring you joy every day.

• Any advice on what to do with journals from my past?

  I love this question! It applies to my own KonMari experience. For a long time, I felt that I hadn’t completed my KonMari tidying festival because I hadn’t gone through my childhood/teenage journals. But this was a time issue. I didn’t actually have the time to mindfully re-read the content and make a decision about whether they should stay or go. Upon further examination, I realised that I wasn’t yet ready to go through them. And I still haven’t. I’m not at that stage of my life and that’s ok. For now, I’ve kept them in a box in my wardrobe and I have a sense of comfort knwoing that when the time is right, I will re-read them all (perhaps in my oldest years!). That’s in line with the vision I have for my ideal lifestyle.

  If you feel like you want to allocate time to go through your journals now and curate the content, then dive in! Be curious about your writing, and ask yourself if re-reading is enough for you to experience the journals as they are, before letting them go with gratitude for being an outlet at the time you needed them most. Acknowledge that their job is now complete but ask yourself: ‘will they serve a purpose 10 years from now?’

• What about baby clothes? Blankets? Toys? All the baby things?!

  Determine why you wish to go through your baby’s items. Think about life and what happens in the final stages. Where do all of our possessions go? Who will have to make that decision once you’re gone, whenever that may be? Should it be their responsibility?

  Gather all of your baby items in one place and start choosing your favourite items you never wish to part with. What makes these items significant? Adorn them around the room so you have a reference point (a ‘joy criteria’) to compare the other items with. I know this category can be tough, so feel free to have a ‘maybe’ pile if that helps you. Once you get going, it will start to get easier to let items go. Be sure to revisit your maybe pile when you are finished sorting through everything.

  Make sure you plan an exit strategy for how to pass on items you no longer wish to keep. When you’re ready, assign time in your schedule to pass them on with gratitude. It can be difficult at first and you may second guess yourself, but in my experience, it feels really good knowing you can donate baby items for others to use rather than them collecting dust sitting in useless in your home. 

  For the items you treasure and wish to keep, you could create a small memory box for your child(ren). You could include only baby items or add items to it throughout the years.

  I advise adding notes and pictures with the items explaining where they came from, why they’re special or even how old they were when it was most important to them.

  Less is more. Most often than not, our children will appreciate a small memory box filled with special treasures much more than huge boxes filled with toys and clothes.

• My parents are now divorced. Should I keep their wedding photos?

  Assuming you have full ownership of these photographs, it’s your choice about whether you wish to keep them or not. Looking at the photographs, ask yourself if they bring you a sense of peace, happiness and contentment. You may wish to acknowledge that at that time in their lives, your parents were happy and content with one another, despite their differences now.

  The key thing to decipher is whether the photograph is a source of positive joy or one of negativity and pain. Your initial response to the photograph will be the right one. Follow your intuition in that moment about whether this content still has a place in your life.

• What about soft toys bought on holidays, for milestone birthdays or occasions etc.?

  Soft toys are often one of the most challenging categories to joy check, and saying goodbye to their friendly, imploring little faces seems impossible at first. It may sound strange, but try covering their eyes with your hand as you joy check them. It really helps!

  Remember when you were little and you saw soft toys in a shop and wanted to take them home? Often, it’s down to their eyes and the connection we feel to their imploring little voices inside our head saying ‘please don’t leave me here! Take me home and love me!’. When we’re pondering about whether to let them go, their eyes create a new narrative of ‘how can you let me go after all of my years of service to you?!’. Cover their eyes and stop the mental message of guilt!

  If you do wish to keep some of these items, think about where you are going to store them. If they are going to lay abandoned in a box in the loft, this serves no one, especially the teddies themselves! Consider passing them on to another child who will give them the attention they truly deserve. Another meaningful outlet for soft toys is your local fire station; they’re often giving to children whom have been affected by fire as a source of comfort at a very difficult time.

• What should I do with my wedding dress?

  A wedding dress is usually not a small item. It takes up a fair amount of space, especially the puffy white meringue style of gown. And yet many people keep their wedding dress for years, tucked away at the back of their closet or boxed up in the attic, basement, or garage. It serves no useful purpose. It’s just there. Is it clutter or not?

  Some individuals keep their wedding dress fondly thinking they will someday pass it on to their daughter. This might have worked a few generations ago, but fashions change quickly now and most young brides will surely want to choose their own style. Sellers of pre-worn wedding dresses generally deem them to be out of date within five years.

  You have to admit, once a wedding dress has been worn on the wedding day, it’s already been experienced, and unless you’re going to sit around in it watching television (like Monica, Rachel and Phoebe did in Friends!) then it really has no use and could go on to bring immense joy to one who cannot afford a brand new dress. Another beautiful idea is to pass it on to a charity such as Cherished Gowns or Little Angel Gowns. These charities use donated dresses to make gowns for stillborn and premature babies. 

• Help my with photographs please katrina!

  Some starting tips:

  • Tidy your physical photos before tackling your digital ones.

  • Remove photographs from albums to look as them as ‘individuals’. It’s so tempting to say you will keep an album of photographs because it’s already ‘complete’. But does every photograph in it bring you joy? To do this process properly, we need to look at each photograph with fresh eyes.

  • Sort your photographs into subcategories first (like family, holidays, school, university, work etc.), before deciding which ones you wish to keep.

  • As you’re sorting you may come across duplicates, blurry or poor quality images and those you NEVER wish to see again for a variety of reasons. Feel free to act on these right away and discard them.

  • Don’t worry too much about the final storage solution for your photographs until you’ve sorted through all of them and completed your joy check. Sort first, store later.

  In my experience with clients, photographs are the most difficult category to declutter for the following reasons:

  1. They evoke so much emotion

  2. They are difficult to discard (how can we bear to throw away those precious baby photos with their cute faces staring back at us from the bin bag?)

  3. There are often so many of them that the task is incredibly overwhelming.

  Most people never make it this far in their tidying festival. But for those that do, it’s the final step of putting your life in order and curating the journey of your life (and the life of your family) up until this point. If you’re not going to do it, who else will? Are you going to leave it for your loved ones to sort out after you’ve gone? Is that in line with your vision for how you wish to leave them?

  If you make the decisions now, your future self will thank you. Think of how many photographs we add to our collection each year. If we put good systems in place now, we will save so much time later on (and perhaps become more mindful of the amount of photographs we’re willing to take in the future).

  If you need help going through your digital photographs, please read my blog post ‘The Steps To Declutter Photos on Your Phone’.

I hope you’ve found this blog post a helpful resource as you attempt to declutter and organisr your sentimental items. If you have any questions or comments, please write them in the comment box below. Alternatively, if you love this post, share it with another person who also needs support in this area.