Last week I presented my third virtual KonMari workshop to Google as part of their September focus on Mental Health and Wellbeing. The theme of our workshop was ‘How to use the KonMari Method with Children’. My children have been learning tidying up skills since they were very young. Romeo and Hermione (now 4.5 and nearly 3) have been growing up in a KonMari home but I know from experience in working with lots of my clients’ children, that no matter their age, it’s never too late to teach children how to tidy up. Before training to become a KonMari Consultant with Marie Kondo back in April 2018, I was a Primary School Teacher for nine years. I know first hand just how much children can benefit from having an organised work space as well as the long term benefits for their mental health. I believe there are seven key benefits to learning the skill of tidying up and organisation, and the sooner we learn this skill, the better:

IT’S LIFELONG SKILL: Everything a child does is a learned skill and believe it or not, tidying is a skill that needs to be taught. It’s not something that is taught in school.
MINDFULNESS: Children become more self aware through choosing what they’d like to keep and knowing what they own.
BEING CHARITABLE: When discarding those items that no longer bring happiness, children can learn to pass possessions on to those in need.
INDEPENDENCE: Through tidying they take ownership over their space and belongings. Following which they are more likely to participate in keeping the family home ordered and organised too.
CONFIDENCE: Tidying produces a sense of accomplishment.
INCREASED PRODUCTIVITY: Less clutter means less distraction.
WELLBEING: The point of tidying is so that our space and the things in it bring us happiness.

For more information about the mental and physical benefits of tidying, please read my blog post: How Can Tidying Improve Your Life?

But how do we get to the point of tidying being an automatic habit? I believe that children need to experience decluttering and organising their belongings using the KonMari Method first. This will allow them to reconnect with what they own and take ownership over where and how it’s stored. For more information on this subject please read my previous posts:

If you’re in a constant struggle with your children to encourage them to keep their room, playroom and/or play areas tidy, then I’d like to share 10 ways that work for my clients for children under the age of 11.

FYI: some of the methods aren’t for everyone, especially the final three which are less conventional! Please feel free to pick and choose the methods that work best for your family. You know your child(ren), and what will work for them as individuals, better than anyone!

Method One: One in One Out

Try to designate some time to play with your children and catch them before they get something else out to play with. Then work together to put away the item they just finished with. Cleaning up the room like this with your children will show them how to group like things together and how the space is less overwhelming when the floor is clear.

The next step in preventing children from becoming overwhelmed is to allow only a set number of toys out every day (four works well for us) and if they want to play with another toy, then follow the ‘one in, one out’ method.

Method Two: The Mini Sweep and the Big Sweep

This basically translates to a little tidy-up at lunchtime (things moved out the way and/or put back in their homes) and an overall tidy-up just before dinner time or bed time. We complete a Mini Sweep at lunchtime where we group the toys together but leave everything out for continued play. The Big Sweep before dinner/bed means that every item has to go back to it’s designated spot. If your children haven’t got a home for each item, this may be one of the reasons why they’re struggling to tidy up effectively.

Method Three: Tidy Up Like We’re in School

If your child has ever been to Nursery or school, you will know that they practice tidying up as a class; it’s part of their daily routine. So there’s no reason they shouldn’t be able to engage in a similar activity in their home environment. Yes,in school it certainly helps to have a place for everything and labels (and/or with images) for younger children but the reason why tidying up is so effective in school is that teachers make it fun. We’re trained to do this for our own sanity. We do this by adding a timer to make it a competition (this works particularly well with siblings) or by using a piece of music. I really love using this tidy up song with Romeo and Hermione. We don’t play it everyday (for obvious reasons!) but it’s another little tool in my getting-them-to-tidy-up toolkit. For added teacher bonus points, give them a tonne of praise and clapping! Always offer positive reinforcement (a high five, hug, or explain to your children just how nice it is to not to have hurt feet when we step on Lego!).

Method Four: ‘Reward’ them

Offer something as an incentive that they will get anyway like a snack or trip to the park. They don’t have to know that you were going to give it to them anyway!

NOTE: This works well for younger children. Eventually they will cotton on to this clever trick!

Method Five: Be the Role Model

From the beginning when they were babies, I encouraged Romeo and Hermione to tidy up with me, while explaining to them the reasons why it’s important to tidy things away. But I do want to manage your expectations; some days they’re keen to get involved and some days they run away! It’s the same for us. as adults. When we’re feeling positive, a little tidying or decluttering can seem like a welcome challenge and we (well, hopefully most of us) get excited about it. On the other hand, if we’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed or sad, then we may not feel the same levels of enthusiasm for the task. As I’m sure you know, children experience emotions like a rollercoaster. If they’re refusing to tidy up one day, don’t push them. Simply try another day. Tidying up shouldn’t ever be the source of tension or argument. But we are their consistent role models. To support this role model effort, I always refer to this quote from James A. Baldwin:

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

Method Six: The Inspirational Photo

Take a photograph of their space when it’s tidy and display it somewhere for your children to refer to when tidying up. It always good for children, particularly visual learners, to have a tangible source they can aspire to in their goals. I also love watching the tidy up scene from Mary Poppins. If only tidying up could be this simple!

Method Seven: The ‘Tidy Up Basket’

Introduce the ‘Tidy Up Basket’. This works really well for families with more than one child. Each child has their own basket and whenever you see an item that belongs to them which needs to be tidied, pop it in the basket. Your children are then responsible for returning these items to their correct place.

(Tough Love!) Method Eight: Sleep with the Toys!

My mum once made me put all my toys that were left out in the bed and try to have me “sleep” in it. Obviously I didn’t but the point was for me to put my things away. It worked!

(Tough Love!) Method Nine: Donate All the Toys Left Out!

This worked for one of my clients:

‘I would tell my children (kindly) they had a set amount if time to pick up all toys and put away. Then I told them anything left out would be confiscated. I put those toys in a rubbish bag and put away. I allowed them to ‘earn’ back their toys, but it was surprising how many they completely forgot about so obviously those could eventually be donated. This worked well for me!’

(Tough Love!) Method Ten: Goodbye Toys!

Another client of mine took a hard line with tidying up:

‘If my kids don’t clean up when asked, I tell them I will clean it up. My idea of cleaning up is grabbing a rubbish bag and putting anything out of place in it. Then I donate the contents. I let my kids know there are plenty of children who don’t have much and would never treat their things like this. My kids took me seriously when I donated the first bag. Is it unconventional? Perhaps, but sometimes a point needs to be made.’

I hope you’ve found the above content useful. Let me know in the comments in you’re inspired to try any of these approaches. And if you’ve found something unique that works for you in getting your children to tidy up, I’d love to read your tidy up tricks too!

Happy tidying!

Katrina

10 Tried and Tested Methods to get your Children to Tidy Up their Toys

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